Puransh Dwivedi quit his 12-year career at Goldman Sachs in November to become a stay-at-home dad, and he's working harder than ever.
The 35-year-old makes morning tea for his wife, runs his son through school, changes his daughter's diapers, folds laundry and does the grocery shopping. While doing so, he took over leadership of the Wall Street giant's flagship conference in the APAC region.
“Parenting is 10 times harder than working in finance. There are no free moments,” he says. financial news About his decision to forgo a mid-six-figure salary.
“Cooking is something I'm not good at, but I want to do my best.''
The former managing director of Goldman's Hong Kong office moved with his young family to his in-laws' home in Delhi, India, last year because he wanted to prioritize his son Naman, 5, and daughter Kali, 1.
“I reached a point where I didn't see the point in spending the prime years of my children's lives and my life on work rather than family,” Dwivedi says.
His move raised eyebrows, as it is unusual for a stay-at-home husband to live with his wife's parents in India.
His wife, Juhi Malik, is also two years his junior at Goldman and worked in the financial industry when they lived in Hong Kong. However, she managed to persuade her employer to allow her to perform her role remotely from her parents' home in Ashok Vihar, New Delhi.
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By the time they started planning their second child in 2022, they had reached vice president level in their respective jobs. Malik will have to take a longer break from her career to raise her children, who have been given her parents' surnames, she said.
“That's when I realized that it was somehow a natural progression for my wife to take time off to raise our children. I was always changing diapers, giving baths, being a hands-on father. So I asked Juhi if it was okay for me to take a break and stay home with the kids.”
“She was like, 'Why don't you do it?'”
Retire at age 35
Although Dwivedi earned more than Malik, the couple decided it was right for the family for him to step back to care for their children.
When Dwivedi told her boss about her decision, the Goldman managing director and mother of three asked whether having more flexibility at the investment bank would change her mind. .
“I told my wife that she has the flexibility she needs to continue to play her role well from India and that she can still manage everything, she can take care of the kids and the house, but I can't do that. “My weakness is that I can't do both at the same level. So between my children and work, I want to prioritize my children right now,” he says. Masu.
Last month, Dwivedi posted on LinkedIn about his decision to “retire at 35” and become a stay-at-home dad, receiving more than 25,000 likes and more than 1,000 comments.
“Men said they wanted to do this too, but they didn't have the courage. And women wanted more men to do it,” says Xavier Management, a top 10 business educator. says a former financial professional with an MBA degree from graduate school. Indian school.
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But some said he had made a “privileged decision” because of his savings, while others argued he should be “uninspired” and “quit” his job.
Dwivedi accepts the criticism, but says, “I have been working for 12 years and have savings.
“We’re pretty mathematical because it’s fun, so we keep an Excel spreadsheet. [for expenses and savings]. We're confident in all our calculations and unless something life-changing happens, this will probably last long enough,” he says.
The father of two joined the bank as an intern in Bangalore in 2011, was promoted to associate in 2012 and moved to Hong Kong in 2017. He was promoted to Managing Director in January 2019.
Since publishing a LinkedIn post about “shifting my focus” to my family, I've been questioning whether giving up my big salary in my mid-30s was a wise decision.
“What people can't give up on is the opportunity cost. They're like, 'How can I give up something I could do in the next five years?' If I can obtain my doctor's qualification from Goldman, it will give me a very high reputation and give me a position in society. That's what we're stuck with.
“If I get a big promotion, someone will text me congratulations, but after five minutes I forget, right? My family is forever,” he says.
Is there a back-up plan? Dwivedi plans to use his free time to explore angel investing and mentoring opportunities, and may consider returning to the financial industry once his children grow up.
“But for now, my ambition is to be a housewife,” he says.
However, Dwivedi is still reluctant to tell everyone that he is a stay-at-home dad and wants society to evolve at his pace.
When filling out an application form for my son's school, I listed “self-employed in the financial industry'' as my occupation, but I was repeatedly asked, “What did I actually do?'' Meanwhile, school staff didn't bat an eye when a single mother a few desks away from her listed her occupation as “housewife.”
“I don't have the courage to write that I'm a “house-husband'' or “unemployed'' yet, but I want to be able to convey that in reality I'm “just'' taking care of my children.I hope that one day the world will accept me. I am.”
To contact the author of this article with feedback or news, email Shruti Tripathi Chopra
